This morning was a very interesting morning. I saw something that i know would bother me for a long time but i decided its not worth it. I am so angry inside and i don’t know why. I look back at old pictures and videos. I see that at High School was the high of my life and college is the low. I had a good circle of friends around me in high school that i could trust. I don’t have anything any more. Everything has changed, i feel it is my fault because i look at old videos and i see the change and that hit me hard today. In college it’s all bad, i found a girl that i could spend the  rest of my life with. I fell in love the first year that i am in school and that what makes me happy in this place. I feel that things are falling apart between us because i have changed into this person i don’t want to be. I honestly feel she doesn’t even want me anymore. She deserves a lot better. I will try to reach that because i know that she deserves it. She deserves so much more. I am just lost in my this mood of pain and anger because all thats happen to me. Some will say i don’t how you got over that, and some will say i handled it wrong but i always knew i had to get over basketball and live my life. 

-Rafael